Leyendo esto esta mañana, me encuentro con un viejo conocido, Ambrose Bierce, brillante "diccionarista", insuperable sátiro:

Conservador, n. Hombre de Estado enamorado de los males existentes, a diferencia del liberal, que desea sustituirlos por otros.

(Conservative, n. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.)

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's dictionary (1911)

Y alguna otra joyita:

Abstainer, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.

Accident, n. An inevitable occurrence due to the action of immutable natural laws.

Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Politics, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like 'caries' and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

Alone, adj. In bad company.